I don't even remember what I wrote last time I was here.

Today was kind of interesting. I went in to work. I thought I was supposed to be there at 5:30, but at 5:10 my phone rang and I saw it was Jake. He hung up after 2 rings, and I knew that I was late - there's no other reason for him to be calling me. But why did he hang up before I answered? A couple minutes later he called again, and said "I think you're supposed to be on this load-out." I apologized, said that I thought the call time was 5:30 and said I was almost there.

When I got there, he was uncharacteristically chummy with me. He wanted to ask me about my having come to see the concert he'd worked on the week before, and just yak with me in general. It was even odd enough that he wanted us to work together - I'm used to him going off and working by himself.

Later in the workcall he got a little more normal, but it did come up that I was going to be working the entire two-week run of the upcoming show. A showcall, running spot. I had assumed he would be on that crew, too. He spent a little bit of time remarking on that I got a showcall, then eventually got around to mentioning that he would not be working that show. I think he was a little peeved that he wasn't working it now that he knew that I was. I had thought we'd be working together, as I said, and didn't know whether to hope that was a good thing or not. Part of me even reasoned to myself that this WAS a good thing, because I didn't need the uncalming distraction of Jake's constant proximity. Could have been during a time tonight that Jake miffed me a bit... can't remember.

By the end of the evening, I'd sorta changed my mind a bit.

After the call was over, we somehow ended up leaving the building together. This is where weirdness really set in. Because of course, now we are on our own time. Other people, you either walk together or you naturally separate yourselves. But things are different between him and me. I naturally expect him to break away from me, but tonight he kept on being there. I ended up saying goodbye to him about 3 or 4 times on the walk back to my car because of all the times I thought he was separating from me. Totally unnatural. First there was the moment we walked out the building. I saw him light a cigarette and I assumed he was going to loiter behind like he always does, so I said goodnight, but then I heard him walking behind me, so I turned and waited for him to catch up. We walked together then, for a while - he seemed to like this - our conversation was banal and lacked total connectivity. At the block, he crossed the street, without a word to me. This is a little bit typical. He starts walking a different way from how I'm walking - then I'm supposed to follow him - then he can be snooty about me. I said, "Oh, is this where we part? Goodbye!" And walked on unceremoniously and sang to myself. Now I'm walking on one side of the street and he's walking on the other, a little behind me, and I pretend not to notice. Another half a block, and he calls out to me that his car is the other way, so we say a third goodbye, goodnight, see you Tuesday - and that was it.

Why this change? Eh, no point trusting it - it's all part of the cycle. Jake turns on, Jake turns off, Jake turns on, Jake turns off...

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Last Five

Jake turns on, Jake turns off. - 2009-12-07
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