Of course I supposed Jake would not be wishing me happy birthday. Honestly, he never wishes anyone else happy birthday on facebook either. Still, it even stung when, after having just posted a status update thanking all the others for wishing me happy birthday, he signed on to Facebook, would have seen that at the top of his newsfeed, and a few minutes later, signed out, without a word or greeting.

"Happy birthday" doesn't cost anything, it would've been nice to hear it from him. I wished him happy birthday on his birthday.

This is the part of the cycle where I feel stuck in an unhealthy syndrome. Wanting to be given something by him, knowing I'll be given nothing, and then being disappointed when I get nothing from him, and wanting it?

To see him sign out like that seemed heartless to me, and I find myself thinking - "I need to get away, just away from him to wherever I can go where he stops existing."

And then I want to leave, to go away, to anywhere, if only I knew how. It's a common phenomenon for me.

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Last Five

Jake turns on, Jake turns off. - 2009-12-07
- - 2009-09-27
- - 2009-09-26
- - 2009-09-13
- - 2009-09-06