An example of people being abrasive...

Is that Sandi my roommate doesn't like the same food as me. Every time I enjoy food, she expresses distaste. This is NOT something I'm used to! Everyone has always liked the same foods as me! She doesn't like cloves! Ginger! Jellies, jams, or fruit in general! SHE DOESN'T LIKE CAKE! Insanely, she loves foods that have historically been on my "whatever" list - tortilla chips, salsa, margaritas, beans, dips. DIPS! DIPS!! I have always avoided dips at parties - never saw the point really. It's like her favorite. She says she likes foods you have to work at - like it's an extra step to eat it. ??? DIPS AREN'T FOOD TO ME! She loves guacamole - I was never able to get into it. When my family would always get the 7-layer burrito from Taco Bell, they always chastised me for asking for no guacamole like that was the only reason to get it. But I didn't really like it too much, usually disliked it, and anyway it was extra calories.

Sandi loves hot peppery stuff; to me it just burns my tongue and makes the eating unpleasant.

And then this other person comes in here and agrees with her about all of it. She loves chips and dips and guacamole and chili pepper and hates jellies and cake.

Which makes me the complete moron.

So when I have this successful cooking experience, and she comes around and says "ew, I hate all those ingredients" - I can't hold it against her but it is GRATING. It is grating that she doesn't agree with me, and it is grating when I don't agree with her. It is grating that I can't get excited about the movies and TV shows she tends to like, or the things she brings home and likes to decorate with. Every time one of us is excited about something and the other is non-plussed (me) or says "Ewwww I shun you" (her) then that's grating.

I would really love to find someone who likes the same things as me. Second best would be someone who is open to adopting my tastes, because I am open to adopting others'.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to return a call that will have me working with Jake again tonight - apparently on electrics crew - and I'd really rather not but - I can't say no to the income.

And it's stupid to not want to see him, but that's how I feel about it now. Over the past couple days I was longing to contact him and say "I miss you" and trying to remember why I shouldn't. The fellow in some Julia Roberts movie saying "If you love someone you say it right then," and I've never told anyone, but how tell someone who doesn't allow you to open the door? Who, every time you stepped in that direction pushed you away. So I'm sitting on an I Love You. And if I said it, the feeling would probably disappear, but it would have been said, and that would be gross. Damn it. Wanting something and preventing yourself from pursuing it is a combination that leads to inaction in all things.

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